Why the Holidays Can Be Hard for Survivors of Domestic Violence

The holiday season is often described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” For many, it’s filled with family gatherings, gift exchanges, and traditions that bring comfort. But for survivors of domestic violence, the period between November and January can also bring unique challenges. Increased financial pressures, tense family gatherings, and heightened expectations can worsen abusive behaviors — leaving survivors feeling more isolated and unsafe.

At NewStory Center, we want survivors and community members to know that support is available, even during the holidays.

Holiday Stress and Abuse Risk

1. Financial Pressure

The holidays are expensive. From gift-giving to travel costs, the financial strain can be overwhelming. For survivors already facing financial abuse — such as restricted access to money, forced debt, or strict control of spending — this season can intensify feelings of fear and dependence.

2. Family Gatherings and Social Pressure

Family events often come with unspoken rules, expectations, and judgment. Survivors may feel pressure to “keep the peace” or to hide signs of abuse in front of relatives. Abusers may use these gatherings as opportunities to assert control, humiliate their partner, or isolate them from loved ones.

3. Increased Isolation

Cold weather and holiday schedules can make it harder to reach out for help. Survivors may feel trapped at home with their abuser or fear leaving because of limited shelter space and travel challenges.

4. Alcohol and Stress

Holidays often involve more drinking and higher stress levels. While alcohol itself doesn’t cause abuse, it can escalate already violent or controlling behavior, increasing the risk of harm.

The Emotional Impact on Survivors

The holidays can amplify feelings of guilt, shame, and loneliness. Survivors may feel conflicted about celebrating, especially if children are involved. They may ask themselves: Should I stay to keep the family together? Should I leave and risk disrupting the holidays for my children?

These complex emotions are normal — but it’s important to remember: abuse is never your fault.

Finding Support During the Holidays

No one should feel alone during this season. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence in Vermont, help is available 24/7.

• NewStory Center Hotline (Rutland County): 802-775-3232

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text “START” to 88788

• Vermont Network Against Domestic & Sexual Violence: https://www.vtnetwork.org/

Shelters, advocacy, counseling, and legal support remain available throughout the holidays. Even if leaving feels impossible right now, you can still create a safety plan and connect with advocates who understand.

How Our Community Can Help

If you’re a community member wondering how to support survivors during the holiday season, consider:

• Donating to local domestic violence programs like NewStory Center

• Volunteering your time or skills

• Sharing hotline numbers and resources in your workplace, faith community, or neighborhood

• Listening without judgment if a friend or loved one confides in you

Closing Thought

While the holidays may be hard for survivors of domestic violence, hope and help are always available. At NewStory Center, we believe every survivor deserves safety, dignity, and support — no matter the season.